Identity and Education: Part 2

I have decided to write this blog in response to questions posed to me concerning my educational background while also linking my experiences to Bracher’s notion of identity.  When Bracher speaks of Identity-bearing affective-physiological states and how it affects learning, I can make a number of connections to my own personal learning endeavors. Bracher  explains that “maintaining ones identity is the most basic human need and thus the ultimate motive underlying all human behaviour” (Radical Pedagogy).  Identity and recognition play a vital role in one’s education and encompasses a multitude of factors. By exploring education, identity and recognition, I hope to shed light on how despite my learning adversities, I was able to find success through education while finding balance between my identity within mainstream society and that of a young black man.

I was born into a middleclass bi-racial home; my mother being white and my father black.  Growing up in Lawrencetown, Nova Scotia, there were very few black people to identify with.  I grew up in the church were my father later become the pastor of our congregation.  Education and faith are two main values within my family structure.  When looking through my eyes as a child and growing up in a predominantly white community I believe race placed little bearing on my perception of self.  I do not remember realizing that I was different or that I understood that I was black until I was approximately seven years old.  In grades primary and one I attended a school in Lawrencetown where there were not many children of color then later began school at Ross Road Elementary/ Jr. High where there was a large number of black students.  It was in this transition to Ross Rd. that I realized that I was a struggling learner.  It was also at this time that I began to identify myself as being black and started encompassing what I believed to be identifiable qualities of blackness. 

In Junior High it became apparent to me that I was facing a dilemma constructing my identity. I realized that I didn’t so easily fit into the social framework of my white peers or of my black peers. Now analyzing the shifts in my identity I recognize that I felt as though I was dancing between the margins. On one hand I had to live up to my families expectations of me in terms of education, personal beliefs and overall character. On the other I sought recognition to validate my identity as a black man. It was not until high school that I was able to form a balanced sense of identity and be comfortable with who I viewed myself to be.

As I began to come into my own, things began to click in my life. Athletics and music were two identifiable, “commodities” that I possessed. These, “commodities” mapped out many avenues within my life. I enjoyed and excelled in these two areas which validated my personal status on many different levels. I began to have expectations of myself similar to the expectations that my family, community teachers and peers had had of me. I believe that these things were a saving grace for me because they helped build the confidence in all areas of my life.  

High School graduation came and went as this was something that was expected of me.  The unexpected was that I graduated High School being almost illiterate.   This follows the, ‘Black Learners Advisory Committees’ statement, “The next anticipated result of education described as basic literacy and numeracy skills and knowledge cannot even be anticipated by the African Nova Scotian learner, as black students are represented in disproportionate amounts in resource or lower track classes, many even graduate illiterate”(BLAC Report).   My literacy levels were apparent after completing my first year of university which ended with me being placed on academic probation.  As a result of my poor academic achievements it was suggested that I be retested for learning differentiation, which reaffirmed the struggle that I faced learning in conventional learning environments.  

As I fell through the cracks of the High School education system, University was able to help me address my learning needs and assisted me in my quest for higher education.  This reaffirmation led me to beneficial resources that provided me with the ability to succeed despite my setbacks and learning environment.   Once again as confidence grew I was able to find educational success.  My friends and family always gave me positive encouragement throughout my battles with education and because of their unwavering belief in my abilities. They always held the expectation that I would graduate from University which eventually came true.

Bracher says that, “the most fundamental identity need is the need for recognition; the need to have one’s being appreciated and validated by others” (Radical Pedagogy). When reflecting on my life, and my struggle to educate myself despite the many disadvantages that could have easily held me back, I realize how true this quote from Bracher really is. I believe that it was the pressing expectation, validation and appreciation that my family and community had for me, that allowed me to create and reach goals that I may not have even dreamed of achieving without their support.